Eulogy by Philip Thomson
I go back a long way with Lyndon. We were friends and rivals as Cathedral choirboys in Hobart. Not knowing how to pick between us, the choirmaster John Nichols made each of us head boy; Lyndon on Decani and me on Cantoris. You’ll recognize the angelic Lyndon in the photo montage at age 10 years. During his life he always could sing lustily and in tune from his days as a choirboy.
We were always competitive. We could both run fast so competed fiercely for our school houses, tested each other in debating and in the classroom. This was at Hutchins School in Hobart, founded in 1846, where in 1966 he was head prefect. The picture of him sword in hand was on Anzac Day that year, Lyndon in Cadet Under Officer uniform accompanying the Governor of Tasmania inspecting a Hutchins guard of honour. There is no sign of discomfort on Lyndon’s face, 4 days after being in hospital to have his appendix removed. Typical of the man; he had said he would be there and he was.
When it came to competing for girls, I was no match for Lyndon. I had moved to Victoria to get my Matric and would catch up with him during the holidays. We’d go to the Jazz Club on Sunday nights and he would have a girl he was dating. I had a succession of his ex -girl friends; my recollections are of conversations about what Lyndon was doing and if I thought he was still interested!
We spent a lot of time messing about in boats. Lyndon’s father, Laurie, bought him an ancient clinker sailing dinghy called the ‘Koala‘. Her stern is hanging over there, discovered in a backyard in Hobart and preserved in Lyndon’s garage for posterity! ’ Koala ‘ leaked like a sieve and had no decking ; so if we lost concentration and allowed water over the gunwale , it would then stop and capsize throwing us in to the Derwent River. Wearing shorts and footy jumpers before any of us heard of wet suits, bottling would make us wet and miserable. Lyndon’s vocabulary at such times was colourful to say the least!
Over the years we enjoyed many adventures on the water. Fishing expeditions and sailing when the opportunity arose. He gave me his outboard motor some years ago which still starts on the second pull. Lyndon often spoke of the good times he had with Mick and Mary sailing regularly on Port Phillip Bay. He had some great trips with Chris and friends rafting on the Snowy and other rivers, particularly when joined by Danny and Jaz.
As we’ve heard from Mark, Lyndon spent 1967 at Duntroon, leaving after a year due to ongoing problems with his eczema. But he was fed up; as he said to me ‘I’d had a gutful‘. He’s written eloquently about the unrelenting abuse, intimidation and mindless military routine. We‘ve put a couple of his articles on the table; King of Shits and Fourth Class Follies. This was bastardization at its zenith; prevalent at that time in male- only boarding schools and university colleges.
His time at Duntroon changed Lyndon; it opened his mind to question attitudes and values. We know he subsequently championed many causes; he supported the underdog, fought for the rights of the dispossessed, stood up for feminism and gay rights, opposed the destruction of the environment for financial gain, questioned Australian involvement in Vietnam and protested about apartheid in South Africa. He developed the courage to stand up in the face of huge odds and state his convictions. Many of us find it hard to risk professional suicide, loss of status and other consequences of speaking our mind. Lyndon was respected by so many because he was not intimidated by authority. At this time, he became a ‘long-haired git ‘, as described by his father. See the photo of him with cigarette in hand in the Anthology of Poems published around 1970. My sisters were more interested in this picture than the content of his poems or the erotic drawings.
Whilst studying at ANU, Lyndon developed swollen lymph glands which tuned out to be Hodgkin’s disease. At that time, a potentially fatal disease with effective Chemotherapy just being developed. Lyndon came to Hobart for treatment, living with uncertainty about his long –term survival. His poem called ‘Schmerz‘ (= misfortune) was written in Canberra at that time. A couple of lines are quoted in the Order of Service and a copy of the poem is on the table. Sherinda and I believe this dark time in his life coloured his approach to relationships with tenuous commitments, not wanting to follow a career path and a reluctance to settle in to a conventional lifestyle.
The move to Melbourne in 1971, driving from Canberra in his Vauxhall Viva, brought many changes. He made many new friends and helped establish Walker Press. After his stint at Monash, he taught for a year at Altona. That’s when he became a Bulldogs’ supporter. I remember him telling me about the horrified look on Sherinda’s face when, early in their relationship. He invited her to come with him to the ‘G’ and watch the Dogs tear the Cats to pieces. An invitation she never took up.
Lyndon always had a jaundiced view of marriage. His parents had an (acrimonious) divorce before he was a teenager and his paternal grandparents had remarried. I met all these rellies, including his (discarded) mother and the new (young) step-mother. It was a shock to me. I had no extended family as they all lived in England and communicated by post. Lyndon bounced from one household to another making acerbic (= bitter) observations on the value of matrimony. In Melbourne, he made it clear he was not the marrying kind and developed a lifestyle to prove it. However, he agreed to be my best man in 1972. There is a photo of Lyndon on our wedding day standing with Carmel, me and bridesmaid Patsy outside the church. If you look carefully, you will see Lyndon wearing a burgundy suit, black shirt and white tie. A bit wierd for such an occasion. In true Lyndon style, there were reasons for his sartorial style. In his best man’s speech, about which I was a little apprehensive, he explained that the black shirt was to express his feelings about marriage with the white tie representing a ray of hope that Carmel and I would beat the odds. He thought we had a good chance of making a go of it!
You can imagine my surprise when he phoned me 25 years later to say he was marrying Sherinda and would I be his best man? There are photos of Lyndon and family in 2007 at St Helen’s in Tasmania where they had their wedding celebrated by Laurie, (himself thrice married). A very special and happy occasion which some of us here remember so fondly. Lyndon seems to have discovered the good things about weddings as both he and Sherinda became marriage celebrants in 2006. It was one of Lyndon’s great pleasures that he was able to marry his great niece Jessica in Tasmania last November.
Lyndon enjoyed many physical pursuits in his life. For many years, his Wednesday tennis took precedence over other activities. Many of his tennis group are here today who also shared meals with Lyndon when they were not locked in combat on the tennis court. He was an enthusiastic bush walker and you will see the photo of him in his shorts in front of Cradle Mountain about to set off on the Overland Track in 1995. Despite astonishing preparations for that trip, Lyndon’s boots fell to pieces on the second day. He completed the trip squeezed in to my sneakers with much grumbling about his numerous blisters. When we did the South West Track in 2002, his preparations were impeccable. However, he had to run the gauntlet of 4 highly experienced female bushwalkers who insisted on meeting him the night before to decide if he was acceptable company. He passed the test and often shared with me happy memories of that trip, particularly about those women’s fastidious cleaning of bodies and eating utensils!
Many of you will have enjoyed Lyndon’s cooking. He certainly loved serving up delicious meals and basked in the glory of appreciative guests. His love of food was such a defining feature of his life. It seems a cruel irony that in his last few months he was not able to eat. He accepted this final blow with uncomplaining stoicism. Many people have been bringing food for him and family to Oak Street, although no longer the cook, he still had pleasure from seeing others enjoy eating in his house.
Lyndon loved his animals. I remember Bonnie the exuberant Boxer when he was growing up, Tush the indulged black cat and Ginger the special dog. We have included a short quote from ‘ The smiling dog‘, with the whole article on the table. Lyndon had strong bonds with his four legged friends.
The Glenlyon Road house was Lyndon’s first mortgage. With its imaginative addition and renovation for which he did much of the work, it was a time of consolidation. He was able to cycle to work, he relished his access to restaurants, the CBD, airport, his interests and friends. His relationship with Sherinda and Jaz blossomed and they joined him in the house in 1996. The move was conditional on Jaz’s approval, which she gave without demur. After ‘madam applied her scorched policy to the back garden‘ at Glenlyon, it was beautifully developed for the Wedding Blessing late in 2007, to which many of us here attended.
Lyndon’s time with Sherinda and Jasminda has been the happiest of his life. It has been wonderful to see him so content over these years, enjoying being with his 2 girls and connecting with their extended families. I have had the pleasure of seeing them welcome many family members and friends to their home. These powerful connections have been so evident over the past few weeks and by seeing you all here today.
In 2005, on medical advice, Lyndon had a Total Colectomy to try and prevent Bowel Cancer. It had a devastating effect on Lyndon’s body and well-being. It left him with problems such as weight loss and dehydration which restricted his physical activities. Reflecting on the past 7 years, I can see the impact on his health, but not the productivity of his life. Sherinda, Jaz & Lyndon moved in to Oak Street in 2006 and established their Consultancy Business in Education and Training the following year.
It has been a wonderful time in Lyndon’s life; surrounded by his loved family, many friends, his books and collected paraphernalia, he was the happiest I have known him. The garden at Oak Street he established. Herbs, fruit trees, compost bin, veggies all due to his work. With Sherinda’s talents displayed on the inside, she and Lyndon have built a comfortable, loving home.
Many of you will know that Lyndon was diagnosed with inoperable Small Bowel cancer and liver secondaries in March this year. Whilst he had treatment to slow the growth, it was not effective. He needed many weeks in hospital to manage the complications from his illness and treatment.
To live in their home for the past couple of weeks has been an honour. Lyndon was only home for 2 weeks before he died. He was cared for by the indomitable and loving Sherinda. He was able to maintain control and dignity of his fading life in the comfortable surroundings of his own home. They had a procession of doctors and nurses and every piece of equipment needed at the appropriate time.
Lyndon decided on his birthday that he was not going to have any more active treatment. After a morning spent talking intermittently with family, friends and health professionals, he became very unwell in the afternoon and died peacefully at 6pm.
My friend Lyndon found it hard to talk to me about dying. We both knew what was happening. I overheard him speaking one day, after I had handed the phone to him to an old friend who was on the line; “I’m on the way out“ I heard him say. But not to me.
We had a conversation on the morning he died about David and Bathsheba. I talked about the consequences of giving in to temptation. He agreed with me that avoiding trouble was the best way to go. I think a conversation about his death would have troubled us both. Some things are best left unsaid.
I prayed for Lyndon as he died that wherever he was going, he would find peace and happiness. I know that is what he would want for all of us here today.
Let’s remember Lyndon for what he was to each of us, personally
Let’s mourn Lyndon today and celebrate his wonderful life.
Let’s move on with our lives tomorrow, the better to have known Lyndon.